Gone.

I've noticed this about myself - I'm too wary of loss.

Oh here's the song that inspired the title etc.

There are people in my life who have changed big chunks of me. They have been rock solid yet transitory, predictable yet pulled the rug out from under my feet. They have been sweet and kind and they've torn me down. They are somehow the people that matter a lot to me, yet the people I'm least able to express it to.

These are usually the people I'm most afraid of losing.

These people - for I must dedicate something to them, even if it is just a blog post they probably won't read - I am eternally grateful for them. They're the change-makers, the ones that get up and tell you what you're doing wrong, tear you down so you can build yourself up right this time round. They don't mind hurting you if it means that later, you won't hurt yourself worse. They don't mind you hating them if it means you won't hate yourself later.

They're the people who'll stand up for you and fight for you, even if the person they're fighting is also you.

Sure the pain is something you'd want to avoid. They aren't gentle and delicate, they won't play with words to make it hurt as little as possible. They make the reality sink in, cold and hard; they'll make you chew the ice, not wait around for it to melt. They're coarse and harsh and smell like real life.

I may have lost one of them.

I suppose I would have lost both if the second one wasn't tethered to me by a lifelong role.

They are hard to keep.